Unfortunately is not what I'm listening to cos it's not on my mp3 player but it's an awesome song by Hollywood Undead.
The chorus goes something like...
Cos I don't wanna be like this
I've been running these streets for too long now
I've got nothing it's true but this song now
The further I go, I wanna go home
Which is exactly how I feel right now. It's round about 25 past 8 pm and cold and the bus doesn't get here til 15 past 9.
It's not just the cold making me miserable which is fucking ridiculous cos I don't actually have any reason to be miserable. I'm going to see Murderdolls in February, christmas is coming, Kim's having Gabriel around new years, Kay and Andy are getting married in February, then Kay's having her baby in June and at some point me, Dale and Sammie are hopefully going to Thorpe park.
Which is a lot to look forward to. And I've just had a tax rebate so I'm getting my Jensen tattoo.
Which is fantastic.
But for some stupid reason I'm feeling horrible and useless.
People mention recovery in the same sentence as mental illness but it never really goes away.
I mean, mum is bipolar and she's been relatively okay for the last...7 odd years give or take and now suddenly she's crashing again, which needless to say is worrying.
And Ros isn't doing too well but the CMHT aren't doing fuck all for her either, they're useless wankers!!
My reasons for fighting are getting thinner.
"How I feel... This inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing." - Dean, 'Heaven and Hell', Supernatural, season 4.
My fingers are numb, it's making it very hard to type. Gonna jam my hands in my pocket, might post again later, might not, we'll see.
Later
