Been a while. Thought I'd post.
There's a moment in your life when you're all screwed up and everything and you keep thinking right, from now on, I'm not gonna be screwed up anymore. But each time you say that, more shit gets dumped on you and then you're back to square one.
And then something happens, something really...I don't know, profound maybe...and it hits you that you should be living your life, not wallowing in whatever pain you're cradling like a child.
Well, I think my 'moment' just happened. Not literally seconds ago, but recently. I would have thought it would have been becoming an aunt. But that didn't work. I'm kinda scared of new born babies anyways.
No. On Sunday 20th February 2011, so three days ago, my sister Kay and her fiance Andy got married.
Seeing everyone together and just seeing the more vulnerable and loving side of my family was a beautiful thing.
There's been several boomf moments recently that have made me think that I should try letting go of things that I've been clinging too.
As is obvious from the rest of my blog, I'm a huge fan of Supernatural and believe it or not, that has had a very positive effect on me. I mean I've loved things before, like bands and tv shows and films and stuff...but Supernatural has really knocked some sense of self into me.
I went to see Murderdolls on the 4th of February and that really boosted my confidence. When I went to see Slipknot on the 5th of December 2008, I got totally overwhelmed and had a major panic attack a song or two into Slipknot's set, and then missed the next four from being in the medic room, so although after that was amazing, it wasn't the best night of my life.
But when I went to see Murderdolls, I just got it into my head that I wasn't going to let it happen again. I was literally on the barrier for most of their set and Joey Jordison (who has been a hero of mine for many years) gave me his guitar pick, and I got my picture taken with two other members of Murderdolls (Jack and Roman) and four members of one of the support bands, The Defiled (AVD, Stitch, Luke and Vincent). I had a whale of a time and it really kind of opened my eyes to the fact that I can go to things like that and deal with that amount of people and not totally freak out.
And then my sisters wedding. She looked beautiful. They both did. And one of the greatest things about it was seeing the softer side of my dad.
Everyone was on top form and just the whole thing was beautiful, I can't even put it into words... I'm so proud of them and happy for them and had such a good time that every time I think about it I feel like my hearts about to burst - and that isn't even exagerating.
The only bummer was that my photo's didn't come out as well as I was hoping but it's still experience.
The official photographer, Colin, was really nice and really encouraging, and we got talking and he said that he sometimes has students out on a job with him and that he'd keep me posted about any upcoming jobs and see if there was one where they wouldn't mind me tagging along.
The interview at college is coming up. I'm getting a suit this weekend and I've decided that I'll make my brief wedding photography, since I already have photo's - we only have one week to do all the work for the interview so...
I was going to make it all film-oriented as that's what I want to go into rather than traditional photography, but I don't have enough time, money, resources or crew to do what I wanted to.
Still, it's all part of the learning process so...
I sent my CV to this place so I'm waiting to hear back from them.
Uh...what else...
My basic plan of action is that I'll finish up the BTEC and I am NOT going to University. Instead, I'm going to get a job just to cover driving lessons and getting a car and then I'm going to start applying for PA jobs, which is known to be the best way of getting your foot in the door of the film industry.
Then I can keep working on scripts etc and aim to be a 2nd Assistant Director until I have enough experience to be an actual director.
I'm gonna start going to the gym and stuff cos I wanna tone up as I'd like to do some acting as well.
Not that I know if I can act but...don't know til you try so I may as well give it a shot.
When I was talking to Jared on Facebook (assuming of course that it was him), he said that if I wasn't sure I could act to take a few lessons.
There was this thing in the booklet for the Wyvern Theater about stuff so I'll check it out.
Which I think I'm gonna go do right now.
That's pretty much it for updates...Oh, I don't know if I posted this but I got a distinction and merit for Mary's first project and a merit and merit for Ruth's and I'm gonna resubmit some stuff to put Mary's merit up to a distinction.
Later
