Welcome to the strange (Supernatural spoiler)

Isn't actually what I'm listening to...I think I'll go rectify that right now!

Okay, now I'm listening to it. Welcome to the strange by Murderdolls. Excellent song.

Okay, so today was weird. I've been pretty hyper all day until my mum came in and now I'm... I don't know. Not exactly in a bad mood, just...pensive?

It's like her negative reaction to work just kind of washed over me.

She's drinking again. Not sure what to do about it.

Managed to sort a big chunk of Dead House last night...not really getting anywhere with it tonight though which is annoying.

Halloween is drawing near but it's christmas I'm thinking about right now. Just watched 'A very supernatural christmas', Episode 8 of Season 3 of Supernatural.
I adore this episode because it's really tearing up christmas, like right at the beginning this kids grandad dresses up as santa for him and then gets ripped up the chimney and killed. Sam and Dean get tortured, and it's just like...not full of christmas cheer.

But then at the end, Dean and Sam finally get to celebrate christmas, even though it's not all tonnes of decorations and hundreds of presents. They're not even in their home, they don't HAVE a home. It's a motel room that Sam dressed up, and if you look carefully, there's car freshener trees on the christmas tree :P
Anyways, so Dean comes in and they swap presents. Dean got Sam 'skin mags'...from the look I'm guessing that's a porn thing or something... and shaving cream and Sam got Dean a chocolate bar and this fuel stuff for the Impala.
And then they drank eggnogg and watched football.

The really sweet thing is that Sam was about to say something really upsetting and serious, but Dean just looked so happy that he stopped himself from saying anything.

It just really hammers it home that christmas isn't about presents. It's not about decorations. Hell, it isn't even about Jesus's birthday since he was actually born probably in March and christmas is just to cover up the winter solstice because of the whole christian vs pagan bit.
What christmas is really about, as corny and stupid as it sounds, is about family and friends. End of.

I've always loved christmas. Even when things were at their worst, christmas was still awesome.

People tend to forget that christmas isn't a happy time for everyone and it makes me feel guilty and sad that I'm looking forward to christmas and I love it but other people are drowning in despair and slitting their wrists or throwing themselvse off rooves, or freezing to death on the streets cos they don't have a home.

But for me, christmas was always the one time of year that my family actually pulled together and acted like a family.

Our christmas is gonna be like supernatural this year cos of Kay's wedding coming up. But that doesn't matter. Actually, I prefer it this way.
People get too wrapped up in the materialism of christmas but when you don't have the money for that...it's even better.

It really is the thought that counts :)

God. Now all I can think about is all the people that are still gonna be suffering on Christmas day :(
And there's fuck all I can do about any of it.

You know what? I don't care what it takes, one day I'm gonna save the world from all that shit!

I feel like if I don't save them, I'm just as bad as whatever put them in a bad situation in the first place.
I don't wanna be evil and the only way I can think of is saving people.

But this isn't Supernatural, y'know?
I can't go running around the world saving people from demons or whatever.
I actually think that would be easier than trying to save them from the real evil in the world.
Cos with the real evil...I don't have the first fucking clue of where to start?

That's another reason I wanna move to America.
Whether the English (who in my opinion are pretty stuck up when it comes to world status as it were) like it or not...America is pretty much the head country of the world.
Whatever happens, it's gonna start with America.

It's so easy for people to blame the American's for everything. If you looked at each country individually you could find any number of reasons to hate them.

America's just more upfront about things so people choose them to blame. America tries to fix everything, and try to help everyone, so if that goes wrong, it's automatically, 'Oh those fucking American's'.
Whereas you can say pretty much the same about England but they turn up their nose and act all high and mighty.

The English I mean.

I don't know, I'm probably a traitor to my country but I just really can't stand it here. To me, this country is on a fucking soapbox made of hypocritical and contradictive bullshit that they stand on so they can look down at the rest of the world.

And I'm pretty sure that most countries are like that.

I think that everyone just really needs to get over themselves and stop thinking in such segmented ways. Like when countries do something it's like, which country can do best, who's doing more? Yadda, yadda, yadda.
If they all stopped being in competition with each other and stopped trying to be the best, more would get done.

I mean, I'm all for patriotic pride and all that, I just think it needs to be more in moderation.

I have no idea how long this post is, I've kind of rambled on again.
Oh well.

Maybe one day someone will actually give a damn.

26/10/10

I love this time of year. It's almost halloween XD

I only have one thing really to rant about and that's that I haven't been paid, when I was supposed to be paid on the 24th, because the woman I was working with is unreliable and she didn't give my slip in. Well I've learned, next time I'm gonna go straight to HR and hand it in as soon as I'm about to leave for the bus. That way, this can't happen again.

I'm going to see Saw 3D with Dale on Saturday so I'm looking forward to that. Finally, get to see an 18 at the cinema, which was why I wanted to be 18 in the first place.

Can't get season 5 of Supernatural yet :( ... Which has upset me somewhat cos I was really looking forward to getting that. But I'll get it in a couple of weeks so...Just means I have something to look forward to for longer :)

Found an adorable song that was on the soundtrack for the supernatural episode "Heart" from Season Two. It's during the bit where Sam has to kill Maddison right at the end, and everyone cries :( Really sad, but a really good song.
It's called Silent Lucidity by Queensryche.

I haven't written in a while so I'm trying to think of what has happened since then. I'm gonna be in a magazine :) SciFiNow, issue #49 which I think is January's issue, back page for being obsessed with Supernatural XD

College is going great. I had my 1:1 with Mary on Friday and it was really good. We set a target of one hour a day homework at least, but apart from that (and trying to use material other than Supernatural :P), she said I was doing really well and she was really pleased with my work XD

I think the only one I'm doing particularly bad at at the moment is Science. It's not so much that I'm doing bad at it, it's just that it's a lot to take in in a short space of time. I mean, college GCSE courses cram a two year course into one year, day time GCSE students get I think it's like 5ish hours a week for their GCSE.
Adult evening courses, you get two hours a week and that's it.
So a two year GCSE Biology course, crammed into one year at two hours a week is VERY stressful.

But I have the book that goes with it now so I'll just read it and then re read it and then copy it out. Hopefully, that'll make me remember everything.

I've been taking little videos of everything on my phone, but I'm gonna start using mum's digital camera, cos I can't get the videos from my phone on my computer, whereas I know for a fact the mums camera will.
I'm gonna do little videos everyday and then make a little film.

I have to redo my script, AGAIN! Because mum got me a screenwriting book and it says that I'm not supposed to write the camera shots in to it because that's the directors job.
Which doesn't matter in this case cos I am the director, but when you send it to a producer, it's just supposed to be the story, which means essentially I've gotta write two, one with the story and dialogue and another the same but with camera shots as well.

People don't really get how much truly goes into making a film until they try doing it.
I mean, pre-production alone. Just writing the fucking story! I mean, I've been working on Dead House for nigh on five years, if not more, and the story itself still isn't finished yet.
That's without the actual set concepts, monster research, character profiles, camera angles, and all the rest of it.
But, working on Dead House, even though it's a lot of hard work, even now, I know that I'm making the right career choice. I honestly can't see myself doing anything else.

Anyways, speaking of, I should probably do some work lol :P

have a spooky halloween!!!

laters

momentary lapse of reason

Or at least it would be momentary if it was ... You know... Momentary , and a lapse of reason if it wasn't true.

That actually made sense on my head.

Sat in astronomy right now and for some reason it's going straight over my head.

I forgot what it's like to be stared and gawked at for looking different.

I saw my reflection
Flash of irrational hatred
Daggers of disgust
I wanna tear it to shreds
Rip it to pieces

Statement of the obvious, I don't particularly like my face...

Yeah, I'm gonna pay attention now.

Save Point

Not that I'm actually play many games, but I prefer being able to save whenever I want rather than having to wait for a save point.

The point of putting the title as save point is because that's kind of what a blog is in a random kind of way. You're basically saving your life so far.

And I have five minutes to make this save point because then I have to go for the bus.

College is going fine, I love my friends, I love the work.

Braided my hair black, green and blue, will post a photo when I get round to it.

Can't wait for Halloween but I can't believe it's mid october already.

Time's going by so fast and I'm not really moving. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere.

Anyways, gotta go.