Another sunday

I have a headache. Probably cos I had some very vivid dreams last night.

I'm on the crew for band instead of playing keyboard cos I tried once at practice and it scared the shit outta me, so I'm just gonna help set things up.

So I gotta bandjob today. It's pretty grotty weather so we might get wet, but that's okay cos I actually like the rain :)

I was on twitter just a minute ago and this fucking person right, cos I'm following Corey Taylor on Twitter and as I'm sure anyone who has either read my blog or knows Slipknot, that their bassist, Paul Gray, died in may. So this person puts on Corey's twitter "Takin time out from sellin out? Fuck you and your druggy bassist".

What a dick! I mean, so you don't like Slipknot, fine. But what the fuck is the point of going on a site and saying something so fucking cruel?

There are some sick and nasty people in the world.

I'm trying not to let it get to me but I just can't believe someone could say something like that. Bet he wouldn't have the gall to say it to Corey's face though. Poor Corey man, that must have shit him up big time.

Some people have no fucking respect. It's bad enough slagging someone off on the net when they're alive but Paul's dead, how the hell could that dude say that?

I don't understand people. I really don't. I don't understand how some people are so beautiful, so kind and generous and selfless...and then you have vile little worms like that guy who get a kick out of messing with people.

It's people like that, that make me wanna shut myself off from the whole stinkin human race!

But I know not all people are like that. There are some amazing people and I wouldn't wanna miss them just because their are some poor excuses for human beings.

I honestly don't know where my belief levels lie in the story of Lucifer and his fall from grace, but seeing some of the awful things humans do, I can understand why he would refuse to love us more than God.

God, some people are such dicks! That's really pissed me off.

But, that's just one little cockroach.

So, anyways. I have induction day at college tomorrow, cannot wait! Not that I need an induction day since this is my fourth year studying there. But hey.

And on Tuesday I'm meeting up with Hope for a while, then I've gotta go to college for the receptionist training.

And then on Wednesday I have an appointment with the docs to discuss my blood test results.

After that, I really don't know, it all depends on when I actually start back at college. I have an appointment on the 13th to see the asthma nurse at the docs to test if I have asthma, but if that's my day back at college I may have to reschedule.

I've written out a whole timeline for Dead House. It's written in scenes but it's more like events.

And I got passed the bit that I was stuck on. Now I'm kind of stuck on another bit cos I can't think how to get this bit in, but I haven't actually tried writing it yet so maybe if I just start writing and see where it takes me.

I've got like 38 major events and one I wrote on paper to add in. On my timeline that's a scene for each so I've ended up with 38 Scenes, 39 when I've added the one I wrote on paper.

Most films have 22-25 scenes I think. I'm not sure, I'd have to check. Of course it doesn't really matter much at this stage, that's what editing and stuff is for. I'm sure the script will be chiseled down when there's actually more people working on it than just me.

I was starting to fall back into my pit of doubt. Thinking things like what's the point? Why am I even bothering to do this? It's never gonna happen, I'm never gonna get anywhere, I'm a talentless bitch etc, etc, etc.

I know most people have these doubts. Many fight through them, many don't. We all have to make a choice as to whether we give up or not.

I can't wait to get my tattoo done, just so I have a constant, permanent visual reminder that I chose not to give up. I came pretty close to throwing in the towel the other day but my mum talked me out of it.

So anyways, I'm gonna go do stuff.

Later