Crazy Love

Is what I'm listening to at the moment. It's a cover, I don't know who originally did it but the one I love is sung by Jason Manns and Jensen Ackles.

Haven't blogged in a while. Decided that I'm gonna try and just not write how I'm feeling and use the blog purely for updates. Of course, this doesn't mean I'll actually do this, it's just what I'm thinking right now. Who know's, tomorrow I could rant and rave and swear like a sailor. But that's what I'm gonna try and do.

Because it just seems stupid to me how I keep pouring my heart out on the world wide web, whether anyone actually reads it all or not, and I shouldn't. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will never be the person I want to be, I can't respect and admire myself because...well the truth is I don't particularly like myself very much. The stupid thing is that if I met myself, I'd try to help, but being myself just sucks out loud.

That might not make a lick of sense to you guys but...hey ho.

So, to update. I have to catch the bus in a half hour cos I have an opticians appointment at 2...first one in like...3 years...fun times.

Oh and I can't remember if I mentioned that I'm being tested for asthma. I have another appointment to see the nurse on the 27th and she'll tell me then I think whether I need an inhaler or whatever.

Then on the 28th is my scan.

I have my 1:1 with my tutor in october and I think that's when it's decided whether a student stays on the BTEC or not. Nail biting time.

Speaking of...I hate film. I mean camera film. Well, I don't hate it, it's just a pain in the ass, that's all. We were developing our films which was really fun and interesting, but I fucked up and exposed mine before I was supposed to (accidentally knocked the funnel out of place when I took the lid off to put the developer in), so mine came out totally black.

And I was the only one who fucked up that badly.

And I got a letter from EMA saying I was entitled to £10 a week, which is good.

So yeah...that's my update. Oh and as far as Dead House is concerned, it isn't going good........or bad....because it just isn't going.

I'll have some time to kill between the opticians and my lesson so I'm gonna see if I can get some written then.

I can see it all in my head, it's just writing it down.

So yeah.

Update updated.

Later xXx