Dead Silence

So I watched Dead Silence, like I said I would, and I think it was a good film, it was definitely interesting. The soundtrack was good and I think it was great that it was a good old fashioned ghost story not a blood and guts orgy.
It had an interesting thing where just before Mary Shaw (the ghost) attacked, all sound would stop, which was really cool.
And the face effect of the victims was awesome, like how their face goes after Mary got them, it was really cool, so yeah that'll definitely be going in my film collection.

So apart from Dead Silence, I also watched the first disc of Season Three of Supernatural and it was awesome. I must admit though, that the first episode was a little...off. I don't know, it's kind of hard to explain but it seemed a little jolted, like it didn't really fit together very well. Don't get me wrong, it was a good episode but...Also, I didn't like the Tamara girl or whatever her name was, I don't think she was a very good actress.

But I still loved it. Episode three was brilliant. Sam was hilarious when he lost the rabbits foot so he was getting all this bad luck and he lost his shoe and caught his arm on fire and fell over and knocked the waiters tray everywhere. And then Dean's epic line of "I'm batman"...oh it was brilliant.

Mum ordered the stuff for my room today as well, so I can finally finish getting my room up together, it's gonna be awesome. Also, she's letting me have her art table and she's having my computer table so I'll finally have somewhere decent to paint...which is awesome.
And I'm having a proper desk, like we've got this big bit of wood that we're gonna put over two cabinets to make and extra big desk so I can spread out more when I'm working. It's gonna be so immense, and we're getting a book shelf, which is fantastic because right now all my books are piled up everywhere, I swear it looks like a miniature version of Bobby's (supernatural fans will know what I mean :P)

Oh, and a bed frame. Right now I have a matress on the floor cos my wooden bed was busted. So I'll be able to put things under my bed so for once I might actually end up having a relatively respectable room for once. I swear, everyone thinks that teenage girls and young women are supposed to be like...totally OCD with tidying their rooms. Not me. I'm a total slob. Well...I'm not a TOTAL slob...I'm just not exactly the cleany fairy.

I just always seem to have too much stuff for the amount of furniture and storage, so I always end up with things piling up. Especially paper. I write bits of stories and films and stuff down and then I have stacks of papers and they fall off my computer table and then I end up having them stacked on the floor and it just ends up a big pile of mess. I'm surprised nothing has spontaneously combusted yet haha.

I've been having some really 'off' moods recently. But I was ready for them. The last few weeks I've been stupidly cheery and determined and optimistic, and any time that happens, there's always gonna be the come down.

That's part of why I suspect I'm bipolar. Not because I HAVE mood swings because everyone has them, but because of how big they are.

It's not just the moods anymore though. I mean, for the last few days I've been on a come down from my 'manic' stage, but it's getting worse. The last couple of nights I've been have dreams where I've started self-harming again. I'm not planning on doing that ever again but...As any self harmer out there will know, when you've been there, and the thoughts in your head again, it's a bitch to get out.

I think one of the reason's I like the Winchester brothers so much is that in a way I can kind of relate to them. I mean I know they're fictional, I'm not that crazy, but it's not the whole demon thing, it's their characteristics as people. I mean, everyone finds something in the characters they watch or read about that they can relate to, that's what makes you have a connection so you can care about what happens to them...otherwise there would be no reason for you to pay attention to the story.

Well, I can relate to Dean because of his issues with not having a proper family, and for his feelings that he's tired of the fight. Dean tries to make jokes out of things when he's scared or upset, I do the same thing except I get sarcastic and cynical because I really suck at humour.
Dean values family, so do I. He has a proper sense of what's right and what's wrong and even though sometimes the line seems blurred, his hearts in the right place. I don't know if my heart is but I do know that I'm very passionate when I'm talking about right and wrong. I think one of the saddest bit in season one is in Skin because even though it's the shapeshifter talking, he's using information he's read from Dean's mind, about feeling like a freak and being alone. It's obvious from several episodes that Dean has abandonment issues. So do I. Dean doesn't want to be alone and neither do I.

Sam I relate to on a totally different level. Sam just wanted to be normal for once, he wanted to have a normal, happy life. That's what I want sometimes. Also there's the whole thing that he's scared of becoming evil. Him and Dean have spent their whole lives killing evil, and when he starts getting his psychic abilities and later on when he finds out why, he's terrified of becoming what he's hunted. I've never hunted evil but becoming evil, even if it's not in the demonic way that Sam does, is something I fear every day.

I'm kind of in the middle of Sam and Dean. Sam is a lot more emotionally open than Dean is. Dean bottles everything up because he thinks he has to. He thinks that as long as Sam's safe, that's all that matters. It's not till later that Sam starts bottling things up too.
I'm a lot more emotional than Dean is but I do what Dean does. When Dean gets emotional, he usually ends up getting pissed off rather than sad and depressed. When I was little I used to cry all the time. The slightest thing of someone being mean to me or something bad, and I'd cry. But then I guess something changed and instead of crying, I got angry. I think that's another thing I can relate to with Sam. He says at one point to Dean that he can't stop getting angry for no reason. I mean, yeah, it's different for Sam because his demony stuff but I get really angry for no reason as well.

Having a totally awesome chat with Kay. It's amazing the change in relationship. We used to totally do each other's heads in, we'd be like bitching at each other all the time, like you literally couldn't have us in the same room without one of us starting on the other, but now we're pretty close.

I think that's another thing that I like about the Winchesters. Their relationship. I mean the shit they go through and how much they look out for each other, even when in the later seasons they kind of fall apart (I'm assuming from clips as I haven't actually seen the later seasons yet), they still have an amazing relationship. I wish I was that close to my sisters.

I think the person I'm closest to in the whole world is my mum. She's literally my best friend. That's one thing I can't imagine having in common with Sam and Dean. They lost their mother and that's how everything got set in motion. I can't imagine ever losing my mum. She's the rock in my life.

If you don't wanna have any Supernatural spoiled then stop reading.

Oh my god, the second episode of Season three that I watched today, there were these changeling things and Dean met this kid called Ben who for a while he thought was his cos he had a fling with the woman eight years before and it was Ben's eigth birthday, and Ben was actually like a mini Dean, he loved ACDC and everything. But anyways, the changeling mother thing gets Ben and replaces him with a changeling boy who looked like Ben so Dean and Sam went to rescue the kids. Anyways, Afterwards, the woman assures Dean that Ben's not his because she had a blood test done and all that and Dean looked really disappointed.

So anyways, at the end of Season Two, Dean sold his soul to bring Sam back from the dead, so he only has a year to live and he said to the woman something about when you're gonna go you wonder what you're gonna leave behind besides a car.

So it's really sad. I mean, it's obvious from the previous episodes that family is everything to Dean, and now he's gonna die in a year and he hasn't had the chance to have his own family. It's really sad.

My mum swears I'm obsessed...I mean, I might be a little cos I was retarded enough to put Dean singing as my phone ringtone but...I'm really not.

Supernatural cheers me up, that's all. I mean...It's kind of hard to explain. Maybe I'm a clingy person who reads too much into things, but Dean and Sam...they're symbolic. Right now, I really need to believe in what's good in this world and Sam and Dean, Jensen and Jared too actually, they represent 'good'.

The way I think, my view of life...it's drowned and stained with the shit that happens, what some people go through and I look at the world and all I see is bad stuff happening.

But here's something I can watch where these two guys fight the good fight...and yes, I am fully fucking aware that it's fiction. That's not the point.

Especially as so far as I've seen, Jared and Jensen themselves are good people.

I get obsessed with things and people quite a lot but it's not like...crazy psycho stalker obsessed. It's more... I don't know, maybe it's because I'm socially retarded. In average day to day life, I feel... I don't know, isolated I guess. My life is pretty empty at the moment. So 'exploring' people is all I can do. It gives me that window into...I guess life.

I don't know, I get attached way too easily I guess.

Anyways, for some reason, every time I've been close to losing it again I've watched Supernatural or the bloopers, and it's just...chilled me out and calmed me down.

I could've decked my sister the other day though. Giz not Kay. I said something about Supernatural and she called me pathetic in a really...it was that kind of tone of voice that's really fucking derogatary (sp).

It really made me mad.

But yeah I think I've rambled enough for today. It's gone one in the morning but unfortunately I just had a load of caffeine so I'm kinda stupidly awake now...but now. I'm the kind of awake that you want to sleep but can't so you're eyes hurt but you can't sleep.

It's annoying. But oh well. The problem I have when I get into one of these non sleeping but sleepy moods is that it's usually the time I start thinking too much about things.

Me and mummy are going to the cinema tomorrow to see the Sorcerers Apprentice. So I'll probably post when I get home tomorrow...actually it is tomorrow...so I'll probably post later today :P

So yeah.

Laters.