Feelin' like a monday...

... But someday I'll be Saturday night!

I feel like crap physically; Lack of sleep + feeling like I'm gonna hurl everytime I move + a day in town yesterday = not getting out of bed until half one in the afternoon.

Job Seekers went okay, some jerk tried backing his car into me and the guy at the tattoo shop said he tattoos on wrists and mine should cost around £60 but he wouldn't know for sure until we had it properly drawn up.

Haven't done any full on work for days :( I was trying to figure out things on thursday night and realised exactly how much work still has to be done on Dead House.

For one thing, I've completely changed the plot, I mean the basics are still the same but so much of it has changed.

I've gone from having over 15 characters to having 7 - which means I have to re-allocate the dialogue.

I'm taking out most of their weapons. Which means I need some other way of keeping them alive long enough to find out about everything.

I was looking through a book my mum got me on short film making and realised that I had only been using like three different shot sizes when there are like eight main ones. I was just using CU, MS and LS mostly.

The full list is ECU, BCU, CU, MCU, MS, MLS, LS, ELS. And that's just like for scripting purposes, it changes a lot when you're actually filming.

Jensen said I shouldn't worry too much about camera angles in the scipt because a lot gets changed during filming so that's something I guess.

It's just I had completely forgotten about MCU and that's what a lot of my shots are so I have to go through everything I've already written and change it.

Storyboarding sucks cos I can't draw it the way I envision it in my head.

It's just...It seems that no matter how hard I try, it just seems stupid to believe that I can actually make it happen someday, that I can actually do it. Like I'm setting myself up for disappointment.

I can't wait to get my tattoo done. To have that reminder there to see always. To remind me that I made the choice. I said to myself this is it, this is what I want and I'm not backing down til I get it, I'm not giving up.

I feel like giving up right now. But I'm not going to. I know that this mood will pass. Sure, it'll be back again and because of who I am, I'll probably get these moods for the rest of my life. I just have to fight through them.

I have the appointment with the CMHT on Tuesday, see if they can help.

Ooh, I got a swimming costume yesterday. I have not been swimming since I was like...in year 6! I'm not too good at swimming but it's said to be one of the best forms of exercise so...I'm going on Sunday. I'm determined not to chicken out.

Oh and I might possible get a job working at a club on Friday and Saturday nights. A small job is better than no job, but we'll have to wait and see.

Oh and apparently I'm eligable for jobseekers just until I go back to college. But hey, that's a little bit of money at least.

So yeah, that's the update.

Later xXx